Title: Theories (1/1)

Archive: Myself. List archives. Others ask.

Rating: PG

Fandom: Scrubs

Pairing: JD/Cox

Summary: "Call it what you will, he knows these feelings aren't right."

Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.

*

He took psychology classes in college. It wasn't something he could've avoided - it was a field of medicine and had to be considered. Well, actually, he probably would've had to take them even if he weren't pre-med.

He doesn't know. And that's not the point.

He took psychology classes. Classes which, for some reason, he still thinks about today. And his memory isn't just connected to the girl who sat a few seats away from him in the lecture hall, the one with the slit in her skirt and cherry red on her lips. During the time, though, that's what he considered while his professor talked of Pavlov, memory, and relative intelligence.

But, even back then, he was able to retain some useful information. After all, his scholarships were based on him keeping a 3.0 average. And, some of it was even interesting.

Like the theories on attraction.

Were people drawn to each other because of similarity? Dissimilarity? Environment?

All of his desires have proven different ideas. He was attracted to Elliot because she's a good friend with similar goals. He was attracted to Jordan because she's the opposite of him, full of straightforward aggressiveness. He was attracted to the girl with the slit skirt because she was pretty, because he saw her three times a week, because she was part of his routine.

He's attracted to Dr. Cox because they have the same ideals, the same desire to do good. There are other things involved, but focusing on the physical makes it seem more...well, like what it is. Deep, undeniable, utter attraction.

Yes. He's attracted to Dr. Cox. Attracted to the man who yells at him, treats him like he's a moron in a sea of idiots, shows him the tiniest slivers of respect. He wonders if 'need for punishment' is one of the theories of attraction; he doesn't remember it, but it would certainly fit.

And he definitely wants *something* to fit; he supposes that's why he's thinking about lessons he learned long ago. He wants a reason for how he feels about him.

He wants to explain it away. But he can't.

He can, however, wonder about the triangular theory of love. The perfect love - which is apparently a very rare thing - is made of three components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

He and Dr. Cox have none of that.

It's infatuation from his end, obliviousness from Cox's. Maybe it's hero worship, idealization that might have nothing to do with real human emotion. But he wants him - loves him - anyway.

Call it what you will, he knows these feelings aren't right.

They aren't the feelings one is supposed to have for a mentor. He's supposed to want to be *like* him, not be *with* him.

He can't explain it, even with the psych information that's buried in his brain. This fits into no pattern, no sense, no...anything.

He can't explain it. And he wants to stop it, but he can't.

But the question now is - what should he do about it?

Unfortunately, his old textbooks give him even less insight about that.

THE END